What I Don't Want
by jouissance
Summary: Alternate (and much less horrific) ending to 4x19 Lily. Swanqueen friendshipiness, heavy on the OutlawQueen with a dash of Dimples for good measure. He kissed her like it was the last time he would ever kiss her: It was full of need, of want, of a desperate desire to feel that every part of her was really truly here.


**That ending just made me angry so I took it upon myself to fix it. I hope you enjoy my version of events. I'm enjoying reading everyone's interpretations as I feel the fanfic writers are doing a much better job than the actual ones at this point. Anyway... Thanks for the read, please review because it makes me happy.**

"Alright," Emma jogged up the apartment hallway to where Regina was anxiously pacing outside Robin's door. "Noisy neighbor lady said the handsome fellow gets home at the same time every day, which is in about 15 minutes, and that the dark haired woman and the boy hardly ever leave the apartment without him. They should be in there. I'm thinking you walk out with Roland and no one's the wiser." Emma gestured toward Regina's hair that now hung half way down her back.

"Great." Regina bounced on her heals. "Do that criminal thing you do and open the door."

"I think we should wait," Emma said looking at her watch again to verify the time. "He'll be back any minute and you can tell him—"

Regina stepped dangerously close to the Savior. "Emma, dear, open the door or I'm going to use you as a battering ram to go through it."

"Right," Emma dropped to her knees in front of the doorknob. "It's nice to see that being a hero hasn't taken away your edge." She turned the knob as the tumblers quickly clicked into place, but Regina's hand on hers stopped her from opening it.

"Wait for Robin. Tell him what's going on." The brunette's intentions were clear. The look she gave Emma told her not to question her decision, but Emma had never been one to cower from an evil look.

"You're not going in there by yourself," she argued placing herself between Regina and the door. "You don't have your magic here."

"Either does she. I can handle my sister, Miss Swan. Do not stand in my way." Regina's watering eyes betrayed the malevolence in her voice and Emma's resolve to stop her quickly faded.

"If you need me…" Emma stepped aside, placing her gun in Regina's hand. She shrugged at the brunette's questioning look. "Just in case."

Regina nodded and squeezed Emma's shoulder before slipping through the apartment door. The Wicked Witch sat at the small table wearing the guise of Marian, Roland balanced on her knee. The look on Zelena's face confirmed that Gold had indeed kept his word. Her sister had no idea that she was coming. "Get away from him." Regina walked across the room with the fierceness of a mother after her son. It's how she thought of Roland after all the time they'd spent together. Losing the boy had been just as hard as losing his father.

"Gina!" Roland bolted from the Witches lap, but he was a second to slow. Zelena snatched him up and held his squirming body tightly to her. Regina leveled Emma's gun at her sister's head.

"I won't miss, Sis. Put him down."

"You would kill a mother in front of her son?"

"You're not Mama!" Roland kicked and pulled against her until Zelena finally lost her grip. Roland hit the floor hard.

"Fine," Zelena screamed, moving to kick the child who scrambled toward Regina. "Take the brat. He's been nothing but trouble anyway."

"Have not!" Roland yelled, defiantly. "You're a liar!" His bravery boosted by the protection of Regina's knees.

"Apparently your disguise wasn't as good as you thought. A child knows their mother, Zelena. You would know that if you'd had one." Regina felt Roland's arms circle around her knees. She reached one hand down to run through his untamed curls. Zelena lunged at them, rage and malice flaring in her eyes. Regina pulled the trigger.

* * *

"Miss Swan?" Robin saw Emma the instant he turned the corner. Emma had positioned herself in a dark corner where she could keep an eye on the stairway as well as the apartment doors. It was the perfect surveillance point and of course the first place the Thief's eyes always scanned. "What are you doing here? Regina?" He was panicked. Emma could see it reflected in his entire body. She couldn't blame Regina for not wanting Roland to spend another second with her wicked sister, but she did not want to be the one to turn this man's world upside down.

"She's fine. She's here," Emma quickly explained. She needed to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Here? How? The curse on the town? She—" There were a thousand questions going through Robin's mind; he didn't have a voice for nearly half of them.

"Look, Robin, I'm sorry. This is going to be a lot and I don't have time to explain so I'm ripping the band aid okay?" She could see that she had jolted him out of what was most assuredly a cluster of emotions and confusions. She waited for him to focus on her. When he finally nodded his understanding she went for it. "Marian isn't Marian she's Zelena. She's working with Gold, using your safety to manipulate Regina. Regina's in there getting Roland and then we have to go." Emma searched to the thief's face for any sort of recollection, but he just looked lost. "Robin?"

"It was never her." It wasn't a question. Emma could see realization dawning and something akin to relief spreading across his features. He met her eyes. "There was always something off; she wasn't the woman I remembered and with Roland…" His eyes went wild realizing he had so often left his son in the care of Zelena. His hand was on the doorknob when a gunshot echoed through the building.

* * *

The witched growled out in pain, clutching at her bleeding shoulder. "The next one goes through your heart," Regina said with an icy calm. "Give me the pendant. Now." Zelena hesitated only a moment. Whether it was the pain spreading through her or the fact that she was still staring down the barrel of Regina's unwavering gun, Zelena relented, tossing the pendant. Regina let it land at her feet, smiling sinisterly as the glass crunched under her heal revealing the witch for who she was.

Robin watched from the doorway as the scene unfolded before them. In the blink of an eye his wife's true form was revealed: red hair, pale skin, and seething rage. Emma moved quickly, shoving Zelena back into the chair. She took the gun from Regina before the brunette could finish the job and held it on the witch. "She shot me!" Zelena yelled.

"Shut up or I'll shoot you too," Emma said, sparing a quick glance at back at Regina. She was crouched on the floor, pulling Roland into her arms. "Robin, if there's anything you need grab it now. We have to go. Somebody heard that." A quick glance to her right showed her that Robin was still frozen in the doorway. His eyes locked on Regina who was walking toward him with Roland securely in her arms.

"Robin," Regina voice shook. "We have to go."

"Of course," the thief answered, still processing the fact that the last three months of his life had been a lie. "You have the only thing that matters to me." He looked down at his boy. His legs were wrapped around Regina's waist; small fists gripped the hair on either side of her neck. _Like father, like_ _son_ he thought, wanting nothing more than to run his fingers through Regina's locks.

"We're good, Emma," Regina said loud enough for Emma to hear. She was unable to look away from the man she'd been missing for months.

"The cops will be here soon," Emma said to Zelena. "If you move before we're out of here, you die. If you tell them anything about us being here, you die. If you ever do anything to hurt them," she leaned in and pressed the barrel of the gun into Zelena's wound. "I won't stop her again." Zelena nodded her understanding through gritted teeth before Emma slammed the gun into the side of her head. "Let's go!" She ran toward the door, ushering the reunited family out. "Walk normally," she said low. She could feel Regina shaking and pressed her hand against her back to steady her. "Noisy neighbor, remember?"

Regina nodded, tightening her grip on Roland as the four made their way down the hall. They rounded the corner into the park as the cops entered the building. "Can you take him?" Regina wasn't sure who she was asking, but the adrenaline was quickly leaving her body and she knew her knees wouldn't hold them both much longer. Emma pulled the boy from her arms, but before Regina could sit Robin pulled her to him. His strong arm wrapped around her supported her easily, the other laced through her hair, pulling her to him. He kissed her like it was the last time he would ever kiss her: It was full of need, of want, of a desperate desire to feel that every part of her was really truly here.

"I've wanted to do that since the moment I saw you," he panted when he finally released her.

"I was afraid you wouldn't still feel the same," Regina looked away, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. "I just had to know that you and Roland were safe. I didn't know if you still—"

Robin cut her off with another kiss: this one soft, lasting only long enough for him to stop her from saying what he couldn't bear to hear. "Regina, I don't ever want to spend another moment away from you. I don't ever want to forget what your lips feel like against mine, or what your hair feels like running between my fingers. I don't ever want to fall asleep without you in my arms, or wake up again and have your face not be the first thing I see. I don't ever want my son to cry because he misses you or hear him call out for you in the middle of the night and know there's nothing I can do to comfort him. I don't ever want to know that you're crying because of me and I don't EVER want you to question how much I love you."

Tears fell freely from Regina's eyes, but there was no sadness. Robin wiped her cheeks with his thumbs and rested his forehead to hers. Emma watched from a short distance, Roland sound asleep against her chest. She knew she should interrupt them; they needed to leave; they were still too close to the apartment and too far from Storybrooke. But she had seen the queen breaking each day since Robin left and the moments she spent with the thief in the hallway told her that he had suffered the same.

"You really should be awake right now, kid," Emma whispered into Roland's curls. "It's not every day you get to see your parents fall in love."


End file.
